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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This weekend went by faster than anything. My whole life seems to be flying by at a light speed pace.
Only 6 or 7 weeks left in this semester, hallalooya
Iapos;ve been watching to moon every night, I like to stand in the light of it, I�like to stare at the moon long enough so my eyes unfocus and all I�can see is a ball of light and a red ring floating around it. The moon seems to always be in tune with my emotions, my schedule...
On thursday night my Mom and I�went to tattered cover and drank tea and ate their empanadas until Robert Greer had this book talk downstairs--mom has a crush on him and once cut his hair
he was handsome indeed, with a relaxing voice and a confident manner...
Then I went over to Zebapos;s and Gabbieapos;s and we went to Paulapos;s house, just another night in a house full of drunk people and loud music, I met a cute boy who had this smile that curled up often and he kept absentmindedly touching my hair. But then Big Bear was just sitting across from me, still as a stone looking like a mean guy. Iapos;m so glad that I am not hanging out with him anymore, itapos;s just not me. Heapos;s this guy that I�met maybe four weeks ago, we instantly started talking and hanging around eachother, I�was wearing his leather jacket that could have fit Hagrid. Heapos;s this biker dude, except with a sweet face and a low rumbling voice. I�really liked him, and the next weekend he took me on a ride on his bike up into the mountains. I lost my favorite amazing silver bracelet, and he gave me his dirty chain bracelet in return. But then, the next weekend, everything went to shit. His room mate went off on this terrible tangent about him, all his bad shit and what a lazy worthless guy he is. Even though I�know I should judge people for myself, I�couldnapos;t help but judge him then and there. He wasnapos;t attractive afterall, he needs alcohol to be talkative and Iapos;m tired of dumbing my conversations down for guys, I�want to talk about something engaging. I need a boy, particularly one that goes to my school. So he has this big crush on me now and I just keep denying him, and all of his friends keep pestering me about it, why donapos;t I like big b? heapos;s such a great guy, you should give him a chance. Sorry, but Iapos;m looking for Edward, Ian, Jacob, Jared...........
argh.
I have high expectations, yet all the males I�get involved with never really meet those expectations, which makes it complicated...how do I end up doing that?
someone has been sending sick pictures to the art department with hands coming out of vaginas and shit
they keep sending them every week--so pat finally called the security. Oh the drama

Iapos;ve been writing this journal all day-its just taken me this long to write anything because thereapos;s so many distractions-rescheduling appointments for a sick teacher, writing the correct addresses on mail, distributing the gargantuous amount of mail, bouncing in my chair, searching for anything twilight related, smiling and talking, answering the never ending ringing phone, my lunch hour doesnapos;t feel long enough.
I love the teachers here, they are my favorite people of all.




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So I turned up to be just a soulbond .__. I donapos;t even KNOW what that means but I guess me and Mick arenapos;t the same person at all.

ahahaha, he called me a tricky bond, how the Hell should I know? We were never unmerged to start with, so YEAH.

Oh well, now that we are, I can finally annoy the shit out of Viral more often <3 I need awesome icons too. *whips Mick to go find more*

I wish there were more people from my verse around, cause I think Nill might be Nia, she really gives off the vibes.
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My chief criterium for a couch is: Is it good for napping on?

Seriously, thatapos;s all I really want in a couch. Our old one was pretty good in that regard, except that the cushions would slip a bit and Iapos;d start to fall into a crack at the back.

I have tried out our new couch and it passes with flying colors. This is teh awesome.

I have not taken a nap on the couch since Aug 25th or before.


Also in the news: I raked a bunch of yard today, about as much yard as we had at the last house. Made some big piles of leaves. Sadly, thereapos;s (a) at least as much yard still to go, and (b) itapos;s the more leafier half. Thereapos;s also a lot of acorns, and as I rake they tend to concentrate in a big almost blanket of acorns. Itapos;s really apos;roll-yapos; to step on them when theyapos;re all ganged up like that. So, I am now convinced, especially after listening to Fox news in CC when at the gym, that acorns are dangerous. How they knew that acorns could be so dangerous and why they think to tell everyone, well... I, for one, appreciate their efforts as Iapos;ve been careful not to fall down.

Kismet is out shopping with a friend an I get the house. Itapos;s a weird state of affairs. Iapos;m okay with it.
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We gathered once again to remember my father and his goodness...greatness.� Itapos;s been seven years since his death and itapos;s amazing how we were able to cope.� To lose the greatest influence in your life is definitely one big blow.� Until you experience something like this, I guess you wonapos;t fully understand the true meaning and�value of life.�

But then itapos;s also amazing, or rather, unbelievably disappointing how you easily forget.� Trying to escape the pain of having a piece of you taken away forever.� You try to live your life as normally as you can.� You try to fill that gap and you try to find that same feeling you had when you were "whole".� And sometimes, the only solution you can find is to forget...

My family drives me crazy.� But despite all that, when we get together, we do talk about my dad.� And I love my uncle for sharing all these stories from their childhood.� They were similar to ones my dad used to tell -- except my dadapos;s versions were�more animated and they always favored him.��

Then�Kuya added to the discussion.� He remembered my dadapos;s composer phase.� Itapos;s true.� He wanted to be a composer.� He wanted to make music.� And whatapos;s funny was that he was really serious.� I remember that he even had a notebook�for his lyrics.�And he would carry it with him along with 5 other planners and phone books.� I didnapos;t even know about it, but he took classes in the College of Music in UP.� And as I heard, it became more of a chikahan session more than anything (teachers had a hard time handling my dad).� And I think he finished a song.� It sounded a bit like the Philippine�National Anthem.� But it was inspiring how dedicated he was and how confident he was about all this.� We werenapos;t taking him seriously, but hey -- he actually came up with a song.� And he was trying to make me sit through it while he was looking for the melody with the piano.

Iapos;m jealous.� I always took pride and I always felt as if I had known my dad the most.� And when Kuya�brought this up, it was like I didnapos;t.� I donapos;t remember these things anymore unless Iapos;m reminded.� Iapos;m happy that Kuya did and quite frankly, heapos;s the only one who listened well and whoapos;s still applying almost everything my dad has taught.� Iapos;m just�really jealous because I wish I did too.��Iapos;m jealous because he was my dad.� And as the only girl and the bunso, I had this claim since I was born.� This was the one time I couldnapos;t care less�if selfishness was a bad trait.� I always felt like he was mine.� He was just for Tamemoy.

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Last night I went to bed depressed. Staying at Meghanapos;s was not such a good night, but I didnapos;t feel like biking home after complaining about everything I currently hate about my life for two hours. So I went to sleep angry/depressed. I woke up angry/depressed. So I was pretty much depressed from 11 PM to 10 AM. Then I climbed a tree. For a while everything was better. Then I had to go to class, where I hardly payed attention, which sucks because I really want to understand Hume. But after class I went back to the tree. I scraped up my arms trying to get back up the tree. They look so hardcore now. The left elbow is missing a lot of skin and the right forearm is a little swollen. Itapos;s so cool. But anyway, I couldnapos;t get up the tree myself for various reasons, but I got a boost from a friend and then sat in the tree for like an hour. I didnapos;t go to sociology because I felt like sitting in a tree was a better thing for me to do. While I was in the tree people gave me three types of reactions. Either they would walk by, I would wave at them, and they would smile and wave back. Sometimes there were cooler people who would actually talk to me a little bit. And the third type of reaction was a look as though I was the most insane person ever. I really liked all of the reactions. Then I went to work where I got two bullseyes. That is when you get people to get a redcard (the target credit card). This is a pretty big deal for somebody who isnapos;t a cashier. Itapos;s actually a pretty big deal for anybody. Pretty much Iapos;m awesome. So because of the bullseyes I got a magnetic chess board and a candy bar. I like that I get rewards for doing my job. Meghan brought me dinner at work. Which made me really happy, and not just because I literally hadnapos;t eaten anything all day. Then when I got home a package from my mom was waiting for me in my room filled with a giant thing of cinnamon (my favorite spice), reeses, some vegan apple granola bar thing, and new underwear. One pair is stripey, one has fish and guns on it, and one has croquet mallets and balls on it. The croquet ones are by far my favorite. I LOVE CROQUET
But now I have a paper to write. I donapos;t want to. But after that itapos;s the weekend and I have plans with people to get super stoned on Friday to celebrate my friend getting off of probation. And Saturday Iapos;m calling in for work, making cupcakes, and going to Vox Feminista. And Sunday Iapos;m making brunch at the Cat followed by Young Republicans. It has the makings for an awesome weekend.

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