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We gathered once again to remember my father and his goodness...greatness.� Itapos;s been seven years since his death and itapos;s amazing how we were able to cope.� To lose the greatest influence in your life is definitely one big blow.� Until you experience something like this, I guess you wonapos;t fully understand the true meaning and�value of life.�

But then itapos;s also amazing, or rather, unbelievably disappointing how you easily forget.� Trying to escape the pain of having a piece of you taken away forever.� You try to live your life as normally as you can.� You try to fill that gap and you try to find that same feeling you had when you were "whole".� And sometimes, the only solution you can find is to forget...

My family drives me crazy.� But despite all that, when we get together, we do talk about my dad.� And I love my uncle for sharing all these stories from their childhood.� They were similar to ones my dad used to tell -- except my dadapos;s versions were�more animated and they always favored him.��

Then�Kuya added to the discussion.� He remembered my dadapos;s composer phase.� Itapos;s true.� He wanted to be a composer.� He wanted to make music.� And whatapos;s funny was that he was really serious.� I remember that he even had a notebook�for his lyrics.�And he would carry it with him along with 5 other planners and phone books.� I didnapos;t even know about it, but he took classes in the College of Music in UP.� And as I heard, it became more of a chikahan session more than anything (teachers had a hard time handling my dad).� And I think he finished a song.� It sounded a bit like the Philippine�National Anthem.� But it was inspiring how dedicated he was and how confident he was about all this.� We werenapos;t taking him seriously, but hey -- he actually came up with a song.� And he was trying to make me sit through it while he was looking for the melody with the piano.

Iapos;m jealous.� I always took pride and I always felt as if I had known my dad the most.� And when Kuya�brought this up, it was like I didnapos;t.� I donapos;t remember these things anymore unless Iapos;m reminded.� Iapos;m happy that Kuya did and quite frankly, heapos;s the only one who listened well and whoapos;s still applying almost everything my dad has taught.� Iapos;m just�really jealous because I wish I did too.��Iapos;m jealous because he was my dad.� And as the only girl and the bunso, I had this claim since I was born.� This was the one time I couldnapos;t care less�if selfishness was a bad trait.� I always felt like he was mine.� He was just for Tamemoy.

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